It’s been almost nine years since the time we first met
And the first one you love is so hard to forget
Small in her frame and such pain in her eyes
She had a passion for life that was hard to disguise
A young girl of twenty and a mother of one
I used to walk with her in the cold autumn sun
As we grew closer, I thought nothing was wrong
But success rarely happens in a wistful love song
I know that she cared, but it wasn’t meant to be
As love came in second to security
I expressed my desire and was shut down outright
For another man kept her in the day and the night
I stayed a while longer, as a glutton for pain
But hearing her kissing, it left me in shame
So I pushed her away when she needed a friend
And I pushed her away, ’cause I needed an end
A few years later, I last saw her face
Hatred rushed in and gave way to disgrace
A failure so strong, it burned deep in my mind
And to the beauty of others, I have become blind
Live in my hole and block out all the pain
Numbed to existence - it all seems mundane
Now seared in my mind, an image of her name
As a field of heather burns slowly in flame
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